This was really powerful. I'm almost always moved by your writing, but then every once in a while, the beauty of your prose really hits, and it's a powerful punch. Very glad to hear you're well, and thank you again for sharing pieces of yourself with us. Cheers, Sarah
The existential dread is crushing. 50 people were arrested for protesting Citi Bank's investments in fossil fuels and Gretta Thornburg was arrested for protesting against genocide. The Covid denial is off the charts. Genocide isn't a red line for way too many people. And yes, the waiting is absolutely the hardest part😞
Sorry to bother you, if the block was intentional, but I saw this comment, below, and thought I'd see if maybe something inadvertent might not have happened, and maybe could be corrected:
CI Carlson
9 hrs ago
Liked by Sarah Kendzior
I tried to « like » Jasmine Wolfe ´s comment only to discover this person had blocked me. I have no idea who « Jasmine Wolfe « is or why he/ she / they would block me. Very odd. Anyway Sarah has written a lovely, melancholic reflection. Peace be to us all.
You’re not missing imagination! Haha! I live vicariously through your words that I suspect many of us share, and admittedly cannot nearly replicate with our own prose. You’re a kindred spirit, and it’s always a treat to behold.
Your writing is always on time, Sarah. I plan to vote, but I am mentally and emotionally done with the 2024 election. Every 4 years of “vote this way or you will lose your democracy” is exhausting to have to deal with. Clearly, we lost much of it already and have to work together to build something better.
Thank you! I was so relieved when Biden dropped out because I thought at least the election cycle would seem much shorter but it just seems ENDLESS. And endlessly disappointing too.
I am Canadian, and I am also feeling low grade anxiety as we get closer to Nov. 3 and then Jan. 6th and Jan. 20. I think alot of people's brains are going to be slightly oxygen deprived as we hold our breath just a little waiting for the dates to pass.
You never fail to defibrillate my heart! I appreciate the depth and elegance of your writing and the courageous way you share your feelings about the state of our world. Though your words are often not comforting, they are healing because they convey that we are not alone in our despair.
Thank you, Sarah, for your beautiful, insightful writing and for your profound bravery in voicing hard and ugly truths. You make me feel far less alone in a world where the masses hungrily gulp down sugary lies. So thankful to hear you are on the mend physically and wishing you a speedy recovery!
You have put words around the existential dread I have been feeling for such a long time. I had been unable to express that sense of waiting…for what, exactly? And then kicking myself for stalling out while waiting for some undefined, unknowable outcome.
Every time I read anything of yours, I can't help wondering why the people in power and their cozy criminal cohort are trying so hard to terrorize us. I mean, all the power and wealth. And yet an insatiable resentment of citizens so malignant that they plan, design, test, refine, and make, market, and manage entire systems engineered to crush our spirit before wiling us out.
I’ve wondered this too, because it’s possible for them to get what they want without the sheer amount of sadism involved. But it’s the sadism itself that they want; that’s the conclusion I’ve come to. Like I wrote in THEY KNEW, they want “21st century impunity — the sadist’s conception of freedom.”
Indeed. Indulging their own addiction to malice with impunity. Imagine claiming all the privileges the world has to offer, as your exclusive and anointed birthright to hoard and lord over, and watching the world writhe in agony as a result of your malice is as important as the hoarding itself.
Having grown up on the outside of Kavanaugh's cohort in DC and its burbias, I can tell you, while not all children of privilege are trained to be malicious, the communal pressure to be selfish is great. It's rare to find kids who are encouraged to be thoughtful, courteous, and genuinely kind. Most of them learn that love is transactional and compassion outside the clique is detrimental to one's comfort and safety within their circles.
Even considering a constraint, condition, or expense that benefits someone of a different life experience is anathema, so therefore, those different from us are likewise unworthy subjects to be lorded over, despised, reviled, persecuted, punished. For simply aspiring to their own dreams of safety, sanctity, and sometimes little more than survival.
These are the softheaded, hard-hearted children of legacy, unearned privilege, and detrumental excess who occupy seats at the table alongside Harris, and Warren, and Porter. They want all the seats. So we let them replace Cori Bush with a corrupt and compromised facsimile of themselves.
I shoot for weird and unusual now as never before. Being stuck in limbo bores the hell out of a person. Nature is my escape too. Keep paddling, Sarah, but get your sleep!
I'm so relieved that you are OK. I have lost most of my original family to cancer in the past 20 years. Many folks who follow you, I am sure, look at you as a sister or daughter (as I do).
Thank you! I am no stranger to death. It has made me more appreciative of life and the beautiful world around us. Every second counts. Give my grandkids a hug for me. 😉
All the world’s a stage… politics is performance theater with human rights as props. The song and dance that kills. Might as well get outside, make art, and be weird. There’s nothing to lose.
Optimism about our collective future is the worst sort of propaganda as it is as seductive as it is deceptive. Without any "studies", our trajectory as a species is quite clear. I don't put my faith in anyone running for office because I'm voting for them. I consider how many ghost writers are employed in a campaign to create a theater of illusions. As grotesque as he is, those in love with Trump sense that his words are his own. Is their perception of authenticity a motivating factor?
We have an oppressor in our midst, the glorification of a staid affluence. There's no emptier promise than "hope and change". No emptier consolation than "thoughts and prayers". Change will never come from them, we must be convinced of it. It can only come from below, and it always starts with "STOP!".
Some thoughts: First, I am so glad that your cancer scare did not become a cancer diagnosis. Also, you are just a breathtakingly wonderful, powerful, poetic writer (and I am so looking forward to having my pre-ordered copy of your new book land on my doorstep!). ALSO, what you wrote about the burn-it-all-down "accelerationists" hit me hard--"I understand how accelerationism appeals to people rightly appalled by this political climate. But I’ve seen enough things burn to the ground to know they don’t build back better; they pave over your grave"--because I know several people of this ilk and no matter how hard I try to tell them that the people who will suffer most in their scenario are the ones who are already suffering the most NOW, sigh. Finally, all your "ramblings" are treasures to this community that loves you so. Thank you for all you do and share with us. Thank you for your courage and your kindness. And please do take care of yourself!!
"My response to encroaching autocracy has been to pretend that I’m free."
Sarah, that reminds me of what Václav Havel said during the Soviet occupation of Czechoslovakia. He was sentenced to 4.5 years in prison in 1979 and of that, spent 1,351 days in prison--just under 4 years. Historian Timothy Garton Ash wrote that in 1986 he interviewed Havel at his farmhouse in northern Bohemia. The secret police sat outside in their car the whole time. In spite of all of this, Havel wrote that every time you speak or write, you should do so as though you are free to say/write anything you want. Contrast this to the American understanding of freedom of speech, which is the freedom to say stupid things. For Havel and his fellow dissidents, freedom to say/write whatever you want could never mean to waste that freedom on foolishness. Dictatorship has a profound effect on the way people think. To dare to speak and write freely under such circumstances is to put your physical body at risk--of arrest, of torture, of imprisonment, of execution, not even to speak of the dangers to your family. To open your mouth to say something you think is benign, then to have the police show up to your house to arrest you because you were denounced by a stranger, a friend, or even a family member, after they twisted what you said into something it wasn't, is a lesson that I'm afraid Americans may have to learn the hard way. It is easy to get a country into dictatorship, but well nigh impossible to get out of it.
This was really powerful. I'm almost always moved by your writing, but then every once in a while, the beauty of your prose really hits, and it's a powerful punch. Very glad to hear you're well, and thank you again for sharing pieces of yourself with us. Cheers, Sarah
Thank you very much, I appreciate that. I was nervous posting this — more personal than usual.
Thanks, you said it all for me! Amen, Sarah!!
You're not rambling....you're weaving! (I'm a Professor of Literature.)
Ha — thanks!
I laughed out loud when I read your comment.
Ha-ha!!! Love it! :-)
The existential dread is crushing. 50 people were arrested for protesting Citi Bank's investments in fossil fuels and Gretta Thornburg was arrested for protesting against genocide. The Covid denial is off the charts. Genocide isn't a red line for way too many people. And yes, the waiting is absolutely the hardest part😞
Sorry to bother you, if the block was intentional, but I saw this comment, below, and thought I'd see if maybe something inadvertent might not have happened, and maybe could be corrected:
CI Carlson
9 hrs ago
Liked by Sarah Kendzior
I tried to « like » Jasmine Wolfe ´s comment only to discover this person had blocked me. I have no idea who « Jasmine Wolfe « is or why he/ she / they would block me. Very odd. Anyway Sarah has written a lovely, melancholic reflection. Peace be to us all.
As far as I can tell you're not blocked🧐 Weird that it's saying you are🤔
It’s fascism lite nowadays
"They call this feeling demoralization. But my morals are doing fine. It’s the opportunity to apply them that is waning."
-- Another signature Kendzior line. The acute, ecstatic attention to language is always such a pleasure.
You’re not missing imagination! Haha! I live vicariously through your words that I suspect many of us share, and admittedly cannot nearly replicate with our own prose. You’re a kindred spirit, and it’s always a treat to behold.
Thank you!
And now another school shooting and the empty hopes and prayers. It never ends. I am glad your surgery went well. Glad to have you back here.
Your writing is always on time, Sarah. I plan to vote, but I am mentally and emotionally done with the 2024 election. Every 4 years of “vote this way or you will lose your democracy” is exhausting to have to deal with. Clearly, we lost much of it already and have to work together to build something better.
Wishing you a restful recovery post-surgery.
Thank you! I was so relieved when Biden dropped out because I thought at least the election cycle would seem much shorter but it just seems ENDLESS. And endlessly disappointing too.
I am Canadian, and I am also feeling low grade anxiety as we get closer to Nov. 3 and then Jan. 6th and Jan. 20. I think alot of people's brains are going to be slightly oxygen deprived as we hold our breath just a little waiting for the dates to pass.
You never fail to defibrillate my heart! I appreciate the depth and elegance of your writing and the courageous way you share your feelings about the state of our world. Though your words are often not comforting, they are healing because they convey that we are not alone in our despair.
Please take good care and keep on keeping on.
Thank you!
You are an amazing communicator. I know I am not the only one, you put words to my feelings, vision to my shadows. Thank you, and wow.
Thank you very much!
Thank you, Sarah, for your beautiful, insightful writing and for your profound bravery in voicing hard and ugly truths. You make me feel far less alone in a world where the masses hungrily gulp down sugary lies. So thankful to hear you are on the mend physically and wishing you a speedy recovery!
Thank you very much!
You have put words around the existential dread I have been feeling for such a long time. I had been unable to express that sense of waiting…for what, exactly? And then kicking myself for stalling out while waiting for some undefined, unknowable outcome.
Thank you for sharing this helpful piece.
Thank you — I’m glad it helped!
Every time I read anything of yours, I can't help wondering why the people in power and their cozy criminal cohort are trying so hard to terrorize us. I mean, all the power and wealth. And yet an insatiable resentment of citizens so malignant that they plan, design, test, refine, and make, market, and manage entire systems engineered to crush our spirit before wiling us out.
I’ve wondered this too, because it’s possible for them to get what they want without the sheer amount of sadism involved. But it’s the sadism itself that they want; that’s the conclusion I’ve come to. Like I wrote in THEY KNEW, they want “21st century impunity — the sadist’s conception of freedom.”
Indeed. Indulging their own addiction to malice with impunity. Imagine claiming all the privileges the world has to offer, as your exclusive and anointed birthright to hoard and lord over, and watching the world writhe in agony as a result of your malice is as important as the hoarding itself.
Having grown up on the outside of Kavanaugh's cohort in DC and its burbias, I can tell you, while not all children of privilege are trained to be malicious, the communal pressure to be selfish is great. It's rare to find kids who are encouraged to be thoughtful, courteous, and genuinely kind. Most of them learn that love is transactional and compassion outside the clique is detrimental to one's comfort and safety within their circles.
Even considering a constraint, condition, or expense that benefits someone of a different life experience is anathema, so therefore, those different from us are likewise unworthy subjects to be lorded over, despised, reviled, persecuted, punished. For simply aspiring to their own dreams of safety, sanctity, and sometimes little more than survival.
These are the softheaded, hard-hearted children of legacy, unearned privilege, and detrumental excess who occupy seats at the table alongside Harris, and Warren, and Porter. They want all the seats. So we let them replace Cori Bush with a corrupt and compromised facsimile of themselves.
I shoot for weird and unusual now as never before. Being stuck in limbo bores the hell out of a person. Nature is my escape too. Keep paddling, Sarah, but get your sleep!
I'm so relieved that you are OK. I have lost most of my original family to cancer in the past 20 years. Many folks who follow you, I am sure, look at you as a sister or daughter (as I do).
Awww, thanks! And I’m sorry to hear about the losses in your family. My best to you
Thank you! I am no stranger to death. It has made me more appreciative of life and the beautiful world around us. Every second counts. Give my grandkids a hug for me. 😉
This is a beautiful piece. So glad you’re ok.
All the world’s a stage… politics is performance theater with human rights as props. The song and dance that kills. Might as well get outside, make art, and be weird. There’s nothing to lose.
I'm eager to hear more from you Ronna.
Optimism about our collective future is the worst sort of propaganda as it is as seductive as it is deceptive. Without any "studies", our trajectory as a species is quite clear. I don't put my faith in anyone running for office because I'm voting for them. I consider how many ghost writers are employed in a campaign to create a theater of illusions. As grotesque as he is, those in love with Trump sense that his words are his own. Is their perception of authenticity a motivating factor?
We have an oppressor in our midst, the glorification of a staid affluence. There's no emptier promise than "hope and change". No emptier consolation than "thoughts and prayers". Change will never come from them, we must be convinced of it. It can only come from below, and it always starts with "STOP!".
Whew! STOP! Yes.
Some thoughts: First, I am so glad that your cancer scare did not become a cancer diagnosis. Also, you are just a breathtakingly wonderful, powerful, poetic writer (and I am so looking forward to having my pre-ordered copy of your new book land on my doorstep!). ALSO, what you wrote about the burn-it-all-down "accelerationists" hit me hard--"I understand how accelerationism appeals to people rightly appalled by this political climate. But I’ve seen enough things burn to the ground to know they don’t build back better; they pave over your grave"--because I know several people of this ilk and no matter how hard I try to tell them that the people who will suffer most in their scenario are the ones who are already suffering the most NOW, sigh. Finally, all your "ramblings" are treasures to this community that loves you so. Thank you for all you do and share with us. Thank you for your courage and your kindness. And please do take care of yourself!!
Thank you!
"My response to encroaching autocracy has been to pretend that I’m free."
Sarah, that reminds me of what Václav Havel said during the Soviet occupation of Czechoslovakia. He was sentenced to 4.5 years in prison in 1979 and of that, spent 1,351 days in prison--just under 4 years. Historian Timothy Garton Ash wrote that in 1986 he interviewed Havel at his farmhouse in northern Bohemia. The secret police sat outside in their car the whole time. In spite of all of this, Havel wrote that every time you speak or write, you should do so as though you are free to say/write anything you want. Contrast this to the American understanding of freedom of speech, which is the freedom to say stupid things. For Havel and his fellow dissidents, freedom to say/write whatever you want could never mean to waste that freedom on foolishness. Dictatorship has a profound effect on the way people think. To dare to speak and write freely under such circumstances is to put your physical body at risk--of arrest, of torture, of imprisonment, of execution, not even to speak of the dangers to your family. To open your mouth to say something you think is benign, then to have the police show up to your house to arrest you because you were denounced by a stranger, a friend, or even a family member, after they twisted what you said into something it wasn't, is a lesson that I'm afraid Americans may have to learn the hard way. It is easy to get a country into dictatorship, but well nigh impossible to get out of it.