Weaving and Grieving

Your questions answered on the midterms, fiber arts, 9/11, comedy, martial law, and more!

Welcome to Part Two of my Q &A, in which I answer questions sent by readers! I usually do this in one article. But I’ve got pneumonia, so I’m breaking it into three parts and publishing them as I go, so that your questions don’t get dated. If you weren’t answered in the first one or in this one, wait for the final one. Thanks!

If you can afford to become a paying subscriber to this newsletter, please consider it. It keeps my articles open to all and feeds my family of four! You also get the perk of submitting a question for the next Q & A:

Mike in Weho: Sarah, very grateful to have you back. You mentioned you stopped doing interviews. I’m assuming it’s temporary. I’ve really missed your Monday appearances on Mark Thompson’s podcast. Will you be going back to that?

SK: Yes, I plan to return to Mark’s show. He is a great interviewer and a kind soul. He and his production team were very compassionate when I had to cancel. I have other interviews with other shows in the works that I’ll also do once I’m feeling better.

Neal P: My question is about popular culture. Are you a fan of comedy? What shows and comedians do you enjoy? Wife of Bath: What book, movie or tv series do you return to as a ‘pick me up’ to reconnect with feelings of joy?

SK: Spaceballs! I’ve seen it over 300 times. It’s as funny now as when I saw it in the theater when I was eight and whispered to my mom “What’s a virgin alarm?” She said she’d tell me later, which led to me yelling in a crowded restaurant, “So, you gonna tell me what a virgin is now?” I love Mel Brooks. I need him to live to 100 for Spaceballs 2! I also love Larry David, Mike Judge, Michael Schur — I watch TV more than movies. I loved Tim Robinson’s The Chair Company. And like all Gen-Xers, I can communicate entirely in 1990s Simpsons quotes.

I also love Hacks. I’ve been a fan since it debuted and recently rewatched the whole series with my husband, who had never seen it. Now that it’s over, I’m blown away by the foreshadowing and attention to detail, which rival any prestige drama. The writing on Hacks is incredible. If you’re a fan, do a rewatch; you’ll notice new things. Hacks is hilarious but also important given attacks on creativity from corporations and AI. It is a defiantly human show. I will watch anything the folks behind Hacks make next. I also admire Hannah Einbender for taking a risk to speak out about Gaza and hope she has a long, successful career.

Valeria: I also write. Looking back over my past writing versus my recent or current work, I notice how much my voice has changed and evolved. How do you see the trajectory of your own writing, and how do you feel about it?

SK: I’ve mostly improved. Some of my best work is here on Substack, which makes me nervous, because I’d like it preserved. Not having an editor has both freed me up creatively and made me obsessive. I’ll edit a piece dozens of times before I post it, which is why I publish less frequently than other writers, but usually my articles hold up years later. My voice is consistent across genres and over decades. Sometimes I find things I wrote when I was a kid that sound like me now. (Between this and Spaceballs, it’s possible I have not evolved since I was eight years old…)

My main complaint is that I’m VERY tired of writing about Trump. I’ve been covering Trump as an authoritarian kleptocrat for over a decade. Because many people are writing things similar to what I wrote a decade ago, it’s uninspiring. I learn nothing new. I read fiction and poetry for pleasure and inspiration instead.

When I was an academic studying Uzbekistan, Uzbek poets complained about how creatively stultifying their dictator was. They told me it wasn’t fear that kept them from writing about him: it was boredom. Since I found him interesting (in a horrifying way), I didn’t fully understand their perspective, but I do now. I take my cues from Uzbek dissidents and write about what I value, not only what I oppose.

William V: I shouldn’t feel the need to apologize for bringing up 9/11, but somehow I do. I believe there is a straight line between 9/11 and Gaza because it is the product of the same worldview, instincts, and power relationships, and probably some of the same people. The evidence of an inside job is staggering. Could you comment?

SK: Never apologize for bringing up 9/11! My newsletter is the place to let your 9/11 theories fly. (Comments are open!) William, you asked me this question in my first Q & A. I stand by my what I wrote, but I’ll elaborate.

In my book They Knew, I wrote about how the “truth” movement was unfairly lambasted and then weaponized by propagandists like Alex Jones. People stopped looking for answers about reasonable questions — like why the US government did not act when it was repeatedly warned — out of fear of seeming “conspiratorial.” It is fine to be “conspiratorial” about an actual conspiracy. And yes, some officials who benefited greatly from 9/11 are involved in the Gaza genocide and/or are in Trump’s crime cult. Netanyahu and Giuliani are the most obvious, but there are more.

A new development since you last asked is the Epstein email release. There is a time gap in the DOJ email trove: 1999-2001. I encourage people to examine this period and ask why. Look into Epstein’s business partner, Trump secretary of commerce Howard Lutnick. It’s not hard to find him: Lutnick and Epstein lived next door to each other at 9 and 11 71^st Street. And look into the officials who “investigated” (covered up) the events of 9/11, in particular, Michael Chertoff and Jamie Gorelick.

Jane G: I adored your article Hanging by a Thread; you introduced me to tatreez. Have you been able to carry on with your crafting through this time? Laura D. S: Can you talk about your weaving? How you learned, if you’re making a product or more in it for the process, what part of your soul does it feed, etc? Chris J. R.: Do you enjoy threading the heddles in preparation? Deciding the pattern in advance? Claire B.A.: What is your favorite needlework that you’ve made? Judith: What kind of a loom do you have? How do you prefer to warp?

SK: Lots of weaving questions! I do a lot of crafts: crochet, embroidery, tatreez and other cross-stitch, pine needle baskets, and more. I wanted to learn how to weave mainly because I love looking at handwoven works. I have a small collection of Navajo rugs, including two by Rosebelle Nez, who weaves “two-face” rugs. I’m in awe of her skill and style. I went to the St. Louis Weaver’s Guild rummage sale (didn’t we all?) and bought a used Navajo loom. I want to learn tapestry weaving, but right now I weave on a Norwood floor loom from the 1970s.

In 2025, my mother-in-law, who is a very good weaver, gave me her mother’s four-shaft loom and started teaching me. I’m still getting used to the elaborate set-up since I mainly do embroidery, where you see results right away. I use a peg board for warping. I like that part; it’s hypnotic. I’m still getting used to the rest: the heddles, the dents, the math! My mother-in-law helps me with things I find hard, like sleying the reed. She has more dexterity than me even though she’s 82. I like that I can carry on her family’s tradition of weaving even though I’m an in-law.

The weaving after the set-up is blissful. I’ve followed patterns but since I’m new to it, I like making up my own to explore new techniques. After my dad died, I couldn’t sleep, and I wove a giant blue cloth. It serves no discernable purpose. When I posted a photo, a lot of people thought I wove away my grief, and subconsciously, maybe I did: variations in blue, complexity and repetition. That big threading error in the middle that gives it a “broken” effect, though — that was just me screwing up! I was too tired to rethread it. But now I like it that way. It’s my favorite weaving.

I’ve only hemmed one side, so it’s definitely about the process for me, not the result. I have a box of fiber arts projects that I want to display but keep forgetting to fix up. (See more photos at the end of the Q & A.)

Very Bright Squirrel: You’ve mentioned previously that you think St. Louis is like Vienna. I poked around on the internet to see if you had written about this, but couldn’t find anything. If you have written on this topic, can you share that work?

SK: In my book The View from Flyover Country, I wrote that St. Louis is a faded imperial capital like Istanbul and Vienna. (I lived briefly in both of those cities.) A century ago, St. Louis was the fourth largest city in the US, and St. Louisans boast that we hosted the 1904 World’s Fair like it happened last week. But its glory days are long gone, and like Istanbul and Vienna, there are ruins all around. There are also museums all around and the price of admission is free. St. Louis is grand, cheap, and low-down: this is a faded American behemoth. I’d rather live here than anywhere, even though our recreational pastime is “guns or fireworks.”

Jack L: There is much discussion about possible shenanigans in the upcoming midterms including armed “poll watchers”, screening out eligible voters, and actual manipulation of the vote results themselves (hello Peter Thiel, et al). What do you regard as the biggest threat to free and fair elections? Bruce: Do you think Trump’s going to negate the midterm election by declaring martial law? Dana: Given that so many continue to cling to the [misguided] hope that just voting can bring real change, do you think there is any hope for us?

SK: Thiel left for Argentina after you asked this, which I think has more to do with ruining life for Argentines than with a desire to escape the US, as is often assumed. Anyway, as I’ve said, you can’t vote out the mafia. My advice is to document corruption, support local activists and mutual aid groups, and give them your money instead of politicians. So many laws have been broken by federal officials that oversight is gone. There were no consequences for past election tampering, including threats of violence toward poll workers, and therefore no reforms. Biden wasted his term, which should have been spent gutting out corruption, expanding SCOTUS, and restoring the VRA. I wrote in 2023 that Biden was a Placeholder President for Trump. Both parties are owned by oligarchs tied to organized crime.

Trump may declare martial law. But I don’t think it will be because of elections: he doesn’t fear those. He may do it to stop the political movements unifying around causes like stopping AI data centers. Or he may do it because he’s bored. Maybe Trump will declare martial law to celebrate the 250^th anniversary of the USA!

Chris J: How do you plan to celebrate our 250th birthday? I can’t think of a 4th of July in my lifetime that I am less excited about. Mary V.H. 50 years ago I celebrated our Bicentennial in my hometown of Charleston SC. Do you think there is still cause for any celebration? I don’t think I do.

SK: In my family, if a birthday or holiday lands on a bad day — like when someone is sick — we move it to a different day and celebrate then. The actual date is irrelevant. I am usually a sucker for gaudy American pageantry. In this way I am (alas) like Trump, or at least I have the sensibility his advisors seek. But I don’t think Trump gives a shit about the USA. I’ll celebrate the 250^th on my timeline, not his. When that date is remains to be seen.

Cody: Tell me one place to see or thing to do in Santa Fe that you loved! (I’m in my 70s and have some physical limitations; I can walk but not a difficult hike.)

SK: If you’ve read The Last American Road Trip, you know I love Santa Fe! It’s a compact walkable city. Go to the square where the old churches and museums are and take your time exploring; you can see a lot in a small area. Eat as much New Mexican food as possible — and get the Christmas-style chile!

Sallybeane1215: Will you be digging more into the connection between Netanyahu and the Kahanists?

SK: I plan to, though the Israeli government is a grisly subject. Reports of ritualistic sexual abuse and torture of children by Israeli officials and the death of whistleblowers like Shoshana Strook are frightening.

Jacqui: Are the environmental fights around water usage a distraction from the real evil of AI and the destruction of knowledge that we are witnessing?

SK: They are not a distraction. AI data centers present an interrelated threat of stolen knowledge, state surveillance, and environmental devastation. They are ruining life on multiple levels at once, and all facets should be addressed.

Michael L: What, if anything, are you doing to “prep” for the future? Have you taken steps to keep your family safe from the chaos? Nora: What are you doing to help your family be more resilient (for instance, are you growing a garden)?

SK: I addressed this in past Q & As. I’m in an unusual safety situation because I document state crimes. I follow the advice on maintaining clarity that I gave in 2016: I write down what I know and hope that others find my work useful. There are folks I read who give more pragmatic advice: Jessica Wildfire gives prepper tips and Kelly Hayes gives activist tips. I do want to grow a food garden, and fortunately my best friend in central Connecticut is an amazing gardener who inspires me when I visit.

Dolly: Do you know a lunch place in St Louis called Vegan Deli & Butcher? Rebecca: There’s a fantastic St. Louis musician named Slayyyter that’s getting popular. Have you heard of her? KM: Can you recommend a good way to get plugged into STL activism? Or, what to avoid?

SK: No, no, and avoid Wesley Bell! (I’ll look into the restaurant and musician though.) St. Louis activists are quieter about how they organize because we live in a local and national police state. I would start by looking into groups who need help with the 2025 tornado devastation and its impact on marginalized communities.

Richard A: If you go out to eat in St Louis, just you and one companion of your choice, where would you go?

SK: I would go back in time to Goody Goody Diner, which sadly burnt down several years ago. Since that’s not possible, I’d go to the Festival of Nations, where you can get food made by St. Louis immigrants from over 80 countries.

Gary: Who do you think will replace Donald Trump as President once the Grim Reaper gets around to paying him a visit? Donald B: My question is about Presidential corruption. Do you see it ending? If you do, what will change?

SK: I’ll be happy if the country still exists in a recognizable form by then. It’s hard to predict a successor when they seek to kill the population and steal the resources. It’s better to look at who is behind the scenes: the donors, the blackmailers. In a mafia state, the president is only a figurehead.

Karen S: Are there examples in political systems that restore themselves from periods of authoritarian capture and rule? Does the restoration require complete reform? What are biggest barriers for US to move away from autocracy?

SK: We need eradication of corruption, restoration of sovereignty, and a sharp break from digital dependency. We needed it decades ago but unfortunately many only admit the extent of the crisis now. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Worse regimes have fallen: apartheid South Africa, Soviet-era Eastern Europe, etc. I’ve answered this before several times so please look at past Q & As.

Out of a Sudden: Is Lev Parnas to the squishy Left what Maria Butina was to the gun-toting Right?

SK: Yes, in terms of people falling for it. Part of that’s their own fault: You should not let an indicted mafia associate from a group called “Fraud Guarantee” who told Donald Trump that he is the messiah become your political guide. Lev Parnas benefits from short memories and long paywalls. Here’s a refresher from two open sources:

Buzzfeed: Two Unofficial US Operatives Reporting To Trump’s Lawyer Privately Lobbied A Foreign Government In A Bid To Help The President Win In 2020

The Forward: The Soviet Jews Embroiled In Trump’s Ukraine Obsession

Sylvia: How’s your kayaking going? We got scared after I fell out in waters we should have never traveled in. Have you ever had a scary time like that in the water? Also do you play an instrument?

SK: Kayaking is great! It takes my mind off evil people like those in the articles above. I’ve toppled in rivers a few times. The first time I was in a tandem with my husband; they call those “divorce boats”, but we make a good team. I wasn’t too scared: I was glad to tip over so I’d know what it was like and learn for next time. And I play piano; I was very good as a kid until I went the Bobby Dupea route…

Geri: Have you seen the film Sinners and what did you think?

SK: I loved Sinners! My thoughts on Sinners are in this earlier Q & A.

Steve B: Dr. Kendzior, are you at liberty to speak to your current relationship with/connection to thought leaders in the Democratic Party, if that applies?

SK: There are thought leaders in the Democratic Party?!

Cindi: I am in the first year of grief after my wife died in August from cancer. Any energy you expend outward is exceedingly generous 💗 What practices have helped mitigate the “productivity gap” you feel? I am graced to have an employer who has changed my job location to be 100% remote. And, I have reached the stage where most everyone I work with has forgotten about what I’m going through. I am navigating through it but am curious about your mindset.

SK: I am so sorry about your wife. You have my deepest sympathies. Many people responded to the Q&A call with stories about their own losses, and they have my sympathies as well. It is so hard. There aren’t really words, but I’ll try to find some.

American culture does not honor grief. Between my dad’s terminal cancer diagnosis and his death two months ago, I lost several other relatives and friends, and my best friend was widowed. Many of us left grieving faced demands to “get over it” — like there’s a rational timeline or a natural reversion to form. The reality of death is that there is no going back and that going forward takes time: time you can never measure in advance. There is no timeline on grief, and that loss of control is frightening.

I’ve designed my career to be autonomous, but even I feel pressure to “be productive”. I’ve had to accept that it is not possible now. Sometimes I read about other writers who endured tragedy and the time they took off to mourn. If they reemerge, they often do so with greater clarity and a new artistic purpose, one purer to their heart. I can only pray that this is what happens to me and be grateful for readers who stand by me in the meantime.

Thanks everyone! To submit a question in the future, join here:

Doesn’t everyone make a pine needle basket to match their book cover?

I embroidered Missouri’s state bird! (Pattern by Tanja Berlin.)

A small corner of a piece I’ve been working on since November — it will have over 20000 stitches when it’s done! Pattern by Avlea, my favorite embroidery store.